Tattoos, Acceptable Motivations and Body Ownership

This past Saturday I got a beautiful (and painful!) new tattoo. It’s a grey-scale tulip that I may later decide to add to this post. For the time being I don’t think I want my bare ass on here (it starts at the knee and ends on my side-butt).

In the days leading up to my appointment I had many very interesting and enlightening–occasionally disheartening–conversations about tattoos–specifically about the “right” kind and the “wrong” kind of tattoos.

After the question of “what,” the inevitable follow-up is “why”. I understand that. We’re talking about permanent body modification. Being curious about motivation makes sense. And, as a friend, checking in that this has been thought through and isn’t something that will be regretted in two weeks is simply due diligence. But what I found often was an implicit (and occasionally explicit) judgment waiting to be made. Would my tattoo pass muster? Are my motivations “acceptable”?

Let’s look at those “acceptable” motivations. Purely aesthetic reasons simply aren’t, according to several of my friends–and society at large. Aesthetics as body reclamation are–for those who understand what that means. For others its gibberish or goes back to “just” aesthetics. Marking an important life event/change/development is–provided they deem it important “enough.”

Here are my thoughts on “acceptable” motivations:
Aesthetics–go for it! I think ink can be absolutely stunning. If it makes you feel beautiful, then I think it’s a good thing. I don’t think it’s vapid or pointless or unimportant. The world’s ugly enough, I think we should embrace beauty in all its instances and forms. This tulip makes me feel beautiful, and that’s powerful.
Body Reclamation–We (women, especially, but not solely) are told from the get-go that we are judged on our appearance. Every single day we are reminded that our bodies do not belong to us. They are a public commodity that is measured, weighed, and found wanting.  I get ink to assert my right to decorate my body how I choose. I get ink to say “I get to define my own beauty.” I get ink to define my own boundaries. I get ink to have something that is just for me.
Marking/Honouring–I think using ink to commemorate a person or event, to honour an accomplishment or success is incredibly powerful. It’s a permanent reminder of something/one meaningful to you. It’s a way you will always carry that person/thing/event with you.
Because You Just Gotta–my last two tattoos (I have three now) just came to me. One second I had blank skin, the next I had yet-to-be-inked tattoos. They had become part of my body before I’d even seen them sketched on paper. I firmly believe that you know when it’s the right tattoo, because it feels like it’s already there and has always been there.

On “bad” tattoos:
The only tattoos I would deem “bad” are those that were decided upon rashly (or drunkenly), which isn’t to say all quick decisions are bad (both of mine were quick), rather that they should be thought through; those that didn’t have thorough research done into artistry and safety; and those that are oppressive–i.e. racist or sexist tattoos.

There are a lot of tattoos in the world that I don’t find aesthetically pleasing, and a lot whose artistry leave a lot to be desired. But I assume that if someone made the commitment to permanently mark their bodies, it has meaning.

But who cares what I think? What surprised me the most–and I experienced this with my other tattoos and will surely experience in the future–is the assumption others have that they have a right to express an opinion about my tattoo or my motivation. Sure, in the purely legal sense they have a right. But to assume they get some say in my body, to treat my body as an object upon which they can comment and judge, to assume my motivation is theirs to know–and approve or reject, is a sign of just how pervasive the attitude of body-as-object is.